I write, I create, what I think and feel. Because I feel strongly something inside that I need to express.

Autumn & Evening

Feel the warm autumn wind,
In the dying orange light.
It sounds the window chimes,
And portends night.

Riding in with the scent,
Of oak leaves on fire.
Comes the twilight swiftly,
With meat for the pyre.

Apples baked, and dipped in cream.
Slurp and chew ’till plates gleam.
Torrid dance with water stream.
Soap and bubble, now all clean.

Distant trains, and clock-set chimes,
Rustling leaves, through open window.
Books and keyboards, between the lines,
Now through a mirror, and darkly go.

Silence

Silence, hear the cold wind blow,
Hour of wolf coming near,
Thump of heart against pillow,
Soft bed becomes hard bier.

Silence, like a cancer grows,
Brick on brick o’er long years,
Only she, her answer knows,
Cold sinking chest, and loosened tears.

Walls built to make us safe,
To keep us on our feet,
From first cut to final tear,
Always they accrete.

Seek reflection of thy soul,
In the windows of another,
Walls frustrate, and need fall,
Or forever keep asunder.

Click… click… cylinder turns,
Cockerels stir, nearing to crow,
Metal taste and dry tongue burns,
Letters written, ready to go.

Touch of fingers light and small,
Lead from silent reverie,
Feel another solar call,
Another day to be.

 

86,000

Thirty years of silent striving,
Now her lips are sealed forever,
Angel on a pillar broken,
What pain she feels, knowing never.

Run in place for too long,
Thought there was a clue,
Look around and find none,
Because they’re running, too.

Whispers loud of conscience,
Drown ghost’s call of heart,
But who will be remembered,
And at what cost the part?

Grasp a slender thread of hope,
Seek a soul’s reflection,
An undiscovered country,
Choose comfort or perfection.

Wonder at each sleepy dawn,
Who will cross the path,
To fire feckful dreams of youth,
And tear away the masks.

Then as tears in falling rain,
Accept each fall of night,
Eighty-six-thousand beats of heart,
Forever lost from sight.

I know you’re out there somewhere,
Where you can hear my voice,
Haunted by a legacy,
A promise, or a choice.

You’re only sick as secrets,
We all have them, too,
But one can’t deal with demons,
By hiding them from view.

The past cannot be changed,
But can only make it right,
Through one’s pain, another’s eased,
For a lifetime, or a night.

Poisoned Calm

Woke up from a dream one morn,
Neither erotic, nor a curse,
Thought she needed help, but didn’t,
Know for body, heart, or purse.

How often been mistaken,
Or waited far too long,
Tried to write a letter,
Now last chance is gone.

All remains are shattered,
Fossils of regret o’er the floor,
‘Cause words only made it worse,
And another’s closed the door.

Now understanding’s closed to me,
‘Cause no one will say why,
Are they genuine or cruel,
Or just running right on by?

Tried to hide in music,
and forget the painful day,
All my songs are poison now,
Must throw ’em all away.

Though I exist alone,
Feelings bind me here,
When these have all been ended,
Nothing’s left but fear.

The empty road of ghosts,
With beautiful losers all,
Still it lies before me,
‘Till I take abyss’ call.

Snowflake Angel

Through each day of walking long,
As always against the wind,
Crystal raindrops falling slowly,
Seeking if I’m thin of skin.

Tiny snowflake, cold and white,
Melt with tear and freeze on lash,
Removing color from my sight,
Seal my eyes for final dash.

Closing eyes I see in mind,
Angel on a pillar broken,
Always running with pain behind,
Now wishing eyes forever frozen.

Snowflake angel, pure and bright,
Visions please help unlock,
So broken angel walks in light,
Ever in shadow I will walk.

Bow and Break

Believe I never meant you pain,
Your wish I will respect,
But feelings quiet I’m not vowed,
My thoughts not secrets to be kept.

I will not hide away my face,
I will not bow nor will I break,
Silent suffer I will not,
I’ll absorb the pain and I will speak.

Break my bones, crush my spirit,
Piss on my clothes, I will endure it,
Though precious friends are only few,
I stand alone as if on cue.

So please enjoy your quiet life,
I don’t forget exquisite pain,
With my silence as needed price,
Yet could forgive if you explain.

Eternal tears of joy and pain,
Are waiting for their cry,
So in this lifetime or another,
I’ll be back this way, to ask you why.

Patience

On some matters I agree,
Patience is overrated.
Whereas for others,
Lifetimes I have waited.

Squandered word and deed,
In moments futilely quixotic.
In this lifetime, not to be.
Wise fool or blessed lunatic?

Scorned and covered with scars,
Strove on courage in fading light,
To reach the unreachable stars,
Before the fall of night.

Behold the quiet ones,
Who will not break,
For their patience,
A universe will shake.

And perhaps the world was better for it.

Frozen Dress

Frozen Dress

Image by Eric Hanson, KCCI, Carrol, Iowa, Feb 18, 2021.

Spring a wallflower,
With an empty dress,
Talking fills it, becoming her,
With eyes bright, but unimpressed.

An uptight gypsy,
She’s cold as ice,
Taken by the wind,
And only faking nice.

Gypsy always moving fast,
Too fast to take that test,
Leaving images which cannot last,
More victim than the rest.

‘Cause only she knows,
Her heart is glass,
Afraid of shattering,
No slowing, to love at last.

Standing center road,
Watch her engine gun,
Dust trailing long away,
Into the dawning sun.

Come again the gypsy,
In dead night dream,
While her bright eyes,
Still are seen.

Come again gypsy,
Come nevermore,
Her best left only pieces,
Scattered ‘cross the floor.

And all that’s left,
At utter end,
Is an empty dress,
Frozen, in the wind.

The Song

Because I feel, you cannot hurt me.

I walk the earth now,
Feeling my demons’ claws and teeth,
Some with names and lives,
Reaching from beneath,
Sidle up and say they’re free,
But ever sniping, pulling threads in the tapestry.

And the nameless ones who spin,
Crawling and squirming, and digging within,
Down to the root with atom bombs,
Ever gnawing on the flesh and bone of my calm.

But also feeling my angels broken,
With names and halos of sun, coal, or fire,
Wheeling and turning and dancing ‘longside,
Lighting up the night, least for a while,

And the nameless ones,
Welling up from within,
Bearing calm among the chaos,
And peace among the din.

Because I see, you cannot hurt me.

I see without life there is no choice,
And without choice, there is no life.
Lost in withering time, their voice,
Cut free with a knife.

Into faces of death I have looked,
With slings and arrows they tried to hook,
And in the grave, I found little truth.
But no beauty, no choice, nor words to soothe.

Only in light of living eyes,
There beauty can grow,
Where there is choice, and possibility,
And hope, to sow,

A future for a million generations past,
Clawing and falling up the long ladder,
Crying out “I’m here!”,
And then silenced in dust, at last.

Because I know, you cannot hurt me.

I know now there is a moment,
Between first cut and final tear.
That’s so small, so insignificant,
But it’s all we have that is truly ours, in here.

Whither awkward or transcendent,
That infinity of moments in moments,
Dark and dreadful or incandescent,
Freewheeling, or abject atonement,

There we make meaning,
And are somehow remembered,
And in every moment, I am lost, and new.
This magic I make, with every breath I take, I do.

Because I am, you cannot hurt me.

Standing on the edge of the world,
Staring out at a falling sun,
Catching winds of time, unfurled,
I feel. I see. I know. I am, one.

Just a fool on the hill,
No matter that you shun,
Because I am you, and you are me,
Because we, are one.

© Douglas C. Stephens